How to bounce back from a major setback.

Set Backs Are Temporary

Have you ever been blindsided by something unexpected? Or something just didn’t work out as planned or how you imagined it? Have you wondered how you would ever survive?

If you are a human being, you have had some form of challenge or set back in your life. We all have them.

The question isn’t about how to avoid set backs, or merely survive; the question is how to recover with grace and move forward in your life. Maybe even thrive.

I have definitely had my share of setbacks – from serious neck and back injuries that left me in pain for over 15 years, job losses and crappy bosses, business set backs and partnership strains, relationship heartbreaks and an engagement break up, I’ve done it all.

Thankfully, I’ve not only got through these tough times, I have learned a lesson or two along the way. These lessons now help me move through challenging times with more grace and faith that I will find my way.

Here are 3 lessons I have learned that can help you the next time you have a setback or challenge:

1. The set back does not define you.

Your set back is not who you are.

In other words, if you lose your job, end a relationship, have an argument, or you’re disappointed about not getting the business deal you wanted, you are not a loser or a failure. You are still the same caring, kind, creative, courageous person your were the day before!

What you do isn’t who you are, it’s an extension of your external reality. @DawnMariePayne – You Can Tweet This!

Focus on your qualities and you assets. Try to separate yourself from the perceived loss and remember that everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it in the moment.

Although it often feels like things happen to us, life has a funny way of helping us out. If you use these experiences to learn more about yourself and what is truly important to you, the set backs will start pointing you in a new direction that is even more fulfilling and enjoyable.

So welcome adversity, it is a chance to re-evaluate and discover something deeper.

2. Ask yourself great questions.

So often, we go into a state of asking questions that we either can’t answer or don’t empower us.

Why did this happen to me? Why can’t I get a break? Why don’t I ever get what I want?

When you change the question, you can take back control.  Instead, ask an empowering question that will help you create a solution or action to move forward.

Here are some great questions to help get you back on track.

What can I learn from this? What do I really want? Who am I becoming? What are my options (there are ALWAYS options). What resources do I have to help me? What am I already great at? What else could this mean? What do I already love about myself?

I recommend you have some great questions ready in advance that are easily available when you need them. That way you’re not trying to come up with new questions in the middle of a crisis!

3. Be patient and persist.

Some things take time to turn around. Make sure you create a realistic, achievable plan to take you where you want to go. Having an outcome and something to aim for will help you stay focused when things get rocky from time to time.

Decide what you need to do each day to move towards your goal. Make sure you acknowledge your progress. This is key! Even if it is one small step towards your goal, it is still movement.

Take it one day, one step at a time. At this point, you can’t teleport yourself into the future, so hang on for the ride!

Remember that there is always hope, and your persistence will pay off.

Now, I would like to hear from you. In the comments below, share your tips and tricks to recover (and thrive) from a set back. What have you done in the past that has worked?

And remember that you are amazing in your own way.  Let’s go out and make the world a better place every day!

~Dawn xo

ps. Please share this. You never know – you could be the key to helping someone else who is having a challenging time.

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